I Will

     Deut. 30:19  This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

     There are people in this world who say they are "pro-choice".  I happen to be as well, but I choose life.

     The following is a scenario not unlike a similar scenario that could, but has not necessarily happened in a neighborhood near you.

     227,  228 Oh here it is 229, The Pregnancy Center.  I sure hope they can help me.
     Hi, Welcome to The Pregnancy Center.  How are you today?
     Oh, Well, Okay, I...I guess.
     Oh, My name is Mary.  Have you been here before?
     No I just...I mean I don't...
     Just relax honey, come on in and sit down.  Would you like something to drink?  Water, juice?
     No, No thanks.  I would like to talk to some one though.
     Oh, of course.  That's what we're here for, but I still didn't catch your name.
     Oh, my name is Tonya.
     Well, it's very nice to meet you, Tonya.  Have a seat.  I have a very special person I would like for you to meet.  I'll be right back.

     Wow, she was nice.  I have a good feeling about tis place.  I sure hope they can help me beacuse I don't know what to do.

     Tonya, This is one of our councelors, Shemequa.  She would like for you to come back into her office where you can have a little privacy and chat with you.  You know get to know you a little.
     Glad to meet you, Tonya.  Come on back.

     Have a seat and tell me a little about yourself.
     Well, I'm 16.  I'm a junior in high school and I'm scared to death.  What else do you need to know?
     Oh, honey I can imagine how you feel.  I was 16 once myself.
     Yeah, but I think I'm pregnant.  Bet you don't know how that feels at 16.
     Well, Tonya,  that's where you're wrong.  I do know how it feels.  I was in your same shoes.  I was pregnant at 16 but I didn't always make the right choices.  I hope you do.
     Right choices?  What do you mean?
     Well,  I have my regrets, but we can talk about that later.

     I heard about this place in my church.  I hope you can help me.
     Well, I'm sure we can.  What exactly have you heard?
     That girls like me can come in here and talk to people and you can run some sorta test and help me with my baby.
     Yeah That's pretty much what we do here.  Do you know what kind of tests we do?
     Pregnancy tests, I guess.
     Well yeah that's part of it.  But we also can do Ultra-sounds as well.
     What's that?
     Well, that's where we take sort of a video form the outside of your tummy and see the baby move inside of you.  But first we need to varify whether you really are pregnant.
     Oh, I'm pretty sure of that.  I missed...you know.
     Oh, yeah, I do know.  Like I said I've been there.
     Yeah, you said that before.  Tell me more.
     Well, let's start the first test then we'll talk while we're waiting.

     Like I said I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant.  I was lost just like you, but I didn't make very good choices.  At least your here now I can can help you.  We'll pray for you and your young child.  We will give you as much councelling and love as we can give you.  We will provide some basics for your baby like clothing, diapers, lotion, powder etc.  Can we get the father and your parents involved?  It might help you get through this whole thing.
     Not the father.  As soon as he heard I might be pregnant he skipped town.  My parents will kill me.
     You might be surprised about that.  Would you mind if we talk to them?
     If you think they would help, sure.

     Shemequa, these are Tonya's parents.  They wanted to be involved with Tonya and the baby so they came to see you.
     It's very nice to meet you.  Won't you come in and have a seat.?
     Tonya just felt so uncomfortable about all this.  We hope you don't mind us coming to talk to you without her.  She said you have been through this yourself.
     Yes...Yes I have.  I wish there was a place like this in my neighborhood when I was that age.  I unfortunately took an alternative route.  I later met a friend named Jesus and he put me on the right path and now I'm here trying to help young girls make better decisions.
  Tonya said you can do an Ultra-sound.  How does that work?

     Tonya we went to The Pregnancy Center today.  Shemequa seems nice.
     Oh, they're  all realy nice there.  I'm just scared.  What am I going to do?
     Honey, your mom and I have decided we want to be with you through this whole process.
     Oh, daddy.  Thank you I thought you would be ashamed of me.
     Well, honey, we all make mistakes.  We really should go down there and do that Ultra-sound.

     Shemequa,  Tonya and her parents are here.  They say that they want to do an Ultra-sound.
     That sounds great.  Come on back.  We'll get started.

     Oh, would you look at that.  He's moving around.
      It's a he?
     Yeah, you can tell right there.
      Is that really his heart beat?
     Yeah, we can detect that and determine his sex very early on.  he can also feel pain very early on.  This is the thing I wished I would have been able to see and do when I was in Tonya's position.  The place I went just wanted to herd me through and collect the money.

     Now we have some decisions to make.
     Now that I've seen the life inside of me I know one thing I'm not going to do.
     That's the choice I wanted you to make.  The next thing is though will you raise this little boy?
     I'm only 16 what do I know about raising a baby?
     Honey, you know we're here to help, too.
     Well, you know there still is one alternative.
     No I already said I wasn't gonna do that.
     No I mean that there are families out there who would love to adopt this young life.
     How does that work?

     Tonya, Now that you have gone through all of this there is one thing I need to ask you?
     What is it?
     Do you know Jesus?  Does He live in your heart?
     I told you I go to church.
     That's not what I asked.  Does He live in your heart?
     How do I get Him to do that?

      Let me tell you something first.  I have said a couple of times I would tell you about myself when I was 16 years old and pregnant.
     Yeah what of it?
     Well when I was pregnant I did not have the help of the father or my parents. 
     I was very lucky.
     You were blessed. That's what I found out later that I am.  I found 2 things.  Shenequa means "God's Blessings".  And that there is a God that we can come to and lay all of our cares at his feet.  Even though I aborted my baby, I now know that God forgives.  He forgave me and He can forgive you of all of your sins if your merely ask Him into your heart.  So the question I have for you Will you allow God to forgive you of your sins and ask His son Jesus into your heart?
     I will!

WIll I

     Shamequa Johnson, Shamequa Johnson.
      Here I am.
     Girl, do you know how long I've been calling your name?
     I'm sorry ma'am.  I just got lost again.  That's been happening a lot since...
    Oh, I know.  Don't worry about it child and follow me.
     What will you be doing?
     Says here you think you're pregnant.
     Yes ma'am.
     Well,  we're gonna find out for sure.
     What are you gonna do?
     You're gonna pee in this cup, then I'll have to take a little blood so go on in there.

     Here ya go.  Will gettin' my blood hurt?
     No, just sit here and relax.

     See now that wasn't so bad was it?
     No.  What's next?
     We'll run a quick test for ya.
     I've just been so scared since Jamal and me....
     I know honey.   You want to talk about it?
     I just seen a big billboard as I was walkin' here just now.
     The one talking about girls like you?
     Yeah, it said the most dangerous place for an African-American baby is in its momma's womb.  What does that mean?
     Oh sugar, don't worry about that sign.  Them people just tryin' to scare you.  You're in the right place.  You're not the only one this has ever happened to and it's for sure you ain't gonna be the last.
     What do you mean?
     Honey, 60% of the girls like you in this city come here.  We'll take care of everything.  It's your body.  You deserve your freedom.
     I don't want no baby.
     I know honey.  We'll take good care of that.  Just go in here and sit while we check your tests.

     Shamequa,  we have your results.  Come on back, child.
     What what does it say?
     Honey we'll talk back here.  Sit down.
     What does it say.  I'm pregnant.  I just know it.
     Honey you knew that before you walked in here today.
     Yeah,  I guess.  I was just hopin'....  What am I gonna do?
     Honey I told you.  We'll take care of everything.  Girl your age needs to be free.  You don't need to have the burden of carryin' no baby with you every where you go.  You need to enjoy life, have fun.
     What about that sign?  What if I don't have no money?
     Honey I done told you.  Those people are just tryin' to scare you.  Ain't nothin' gonna happen to you.  You can thank Roe and the Supremes for that.  Besides it's ok if you don't have money.
      What are you talking about Roe & the Supremes?
      You know honey,  when we won the the right.  It's our body.  The court said we can do with it whatever we see fit.  You're too young to be burdened by a baby.  We'll take care of everything.
     I don't have no money.  How much this gonna cost?
     Honey, we got that taken care of too.  This is legal.  The Supremes say so, so we got plenty of money for girls like you.

     Alright Shamequa, we're ready for you now.  Come on back and you'll be out living your own life again very soon and you won't have to worry about a thing.
     Are you sure everything's gonna be alright?
     Honey, The Supremes gave you this right way back in 1973.  You deserve to do with your body what you want to.  You're too young to worry about havin' a baby.  Let's get you ready.
     All right I'm ready.

     See, Shamequa that didn't take so long.  Now you go on out there and have some fun like a girl should
     Ok.  I guess I don't have anything to worry about no more.     Will I?

I Can Breath in a Small Town

     I have lived all over the state of Illinois.  I have spent my whole life in Illinois.  Illinois to most outsiders is Chicago.  There is more to Illinois than Chicago. 

     I was raised on a farm just outside of one of Illinois' smallest communities, San Jose.  The town is now mostly known because of it's facebook page of  "I know how to pronounce San Jose".  Because nowadays, there really is not  much left to the town except of course for the one thing that is now mandated in order for a town to exist,  and that's a Casey's.

     I've seen it all in a small town.  Had myself a ball in a small town.  Taught to fear Jesus in a small town.  Had myself  a ball in a small town where there's little opportunity.  My parents lived in that same small town.  I used to day dream in a small town.  That's probably where they'll bury me.

     John Cougar Melancamp wrote that song about his childhood small town of Bloomington, IN.  But that small town has nothing on the small town I grew up in.  His small town was probably 30,000 people.  My small town was lucky to be 600 people.  I could walk up and down the hall ways of my high school and name all 115  people who occupied that entire high school.  Heck there probably was a time when I could walk up and down most every street in town and name the people who lived in most every house.

     There really wasn't a whole lot of anything in this small town at the time that I grew up there.  There were 2 gas stations.  And I mean gas stations not today's convenience stores.  This is where Lloyd or John, depending on which station you went to (one across from the other on the only highway going through town U.S. Rte 136) would come out and greet you by name and ask how much gas you wanted them to put into your tank for you, as they popped the hood to check your oil.  The driver and Loyd or John would get each other caught up on the latest bit of gossip in town and you would be on your way.

     There was also one little cafe in town that probably served the best pizza burger that I've had even to this day.  Another place to go to hear the latest gossip and to watch the famers nurse a cup or 5 cups of coffee as they solved the world's problems.  They could slide down to the cafe while their grain truck was being unloaded of its corn by Keith at the grain elevator at the top of the hill.  The Mrs. might take a huge gamble and call the cafe using the 4 digit phone number that was assigned to it to see if John Smith (really his name) could walk over to the only grocery store in town so he could get a carton of milk and a loaf of bread from Claude.  Graham's store was good with the charge accounts because he knew his loyal customers were good for it.  Almost forgot, I still remember our phone number was 3606 and could be reached by any one from Delavan to Mason City.  Then if you went down that street slightly you could stop into the post office to see if you knew any one there.  Of course you did.  Then if you needed a little lumber, Bill always was ready to load you up at the next business along the busiest street in town (next to 136).

     For the people who still had livestock they could go clear over to the east side of town, about 6 blocks away and see either Bill or Dick for their feed needs at the feed store.  That would be another place to get the latest gossip as well.  I used to love listening to Dick and my dad tell stories to each other and lies about each other and then laugh their stupid heads off while they were doing it.  If you haven't caught on by now,  this small town was pretty much a farming community.  So like any other small farm town you also had to have an tractor dealer and repair shop.  So when the combine or tractor broke down you would have to make a trip over to Woll's tractor shop.  Ya know it never really dawned on me then but now I think back at it and remeber most of the tractors around the area were John Deere.  Woll's shop was suppose to be a White dealership.  It's no wonder they went out of business.

     Speaking of Woll's,  they used to keep that town a buzzing with dress shops, stores etc.  Along with W. G. Kelley, they owned most of the rest of the town.  Good people and good shrood business people.  Nuf said.  They also had an interest, a strong interest in the Tri-County state Bank.  Again the only bank in town as well.  It was called Tri-County because our fair town had the distinction of bordering 3 counties.  That's pretty weird seeing how small the town really was.

     Even though the town didn't really have a lot to offer in the way of commerce or enrtainment for that matter, there were many advantages to living in a small town.  A thought just occurred to me though.  For nothing really substantial going on in this town, there sure were a lot of places to gather to get caught up on the latest gossip.  I guess that was the entertainment.  Any way getting back to the advantages of a small town.  It was great knowing every one.  You could trust every one and didn't have to worry about being obducted or robbed.  Heck I bet to this day many of the doors go unlocked 90% of the time.  By knowing  every one, that meant you knew your teachers, too and they knew you.  They even knew your siblings and your cousins and could compare your good qualities and your not so good qualities to them.  But that also meant that you could get by with things sometimes too.  I don't know how many times I got out of class just to take care of important things like playing baseball or even car shopping with Miss Price.

     Because there weren't many kids to choose from you always made the sport's team without the worry of try outs.  Although I do remember the girls having to try out for the cheerleading squad.  But that was okay because we would have an assembly that got us out of class to vote on who we wanted to be the cheerleaders for that year for the one sport, basketball, that we had cheerleaders for.  Again, in a small school you don't have enough to field a football team.  Thankfully there were plenty of other extra-curricular activities.  You could be in Donnie-Bill's FFA.  Again, farming community so that was  a biggie.  There was also Mr. Schoeburn's plays.  Play practice consumed about 90% of the school year and about that many of the student body.  Then there was Zim's band and swing choir.  To be honest I feel we always had the very best band around and we can all thank Zim for that one.  And there was my favorite, baseball.  That was coached by either Donnie-Bill (that's sir to you), Coach Coriell, or Turtle Johnson depending on which era you played in.  Another activity that was very popular were the school dances that were held in the high school gym.  Decorating for that was always a chore and a big secret because they didn't want the theme of the dance to be released along with the appearance of the decorations until the night of the dance.

     Now many years have gone by since I have even lived in that small town.  The only reason I have left to go back there any more is to see my mom who still lives on that same farm that I grew up on.  Well that and every 5 years I do go back to the all school alumni banquet.  How many towns can brag about that one now.  The Alumni Committe plans a big suare every year to honor grads from SJHS every 5 yrs.  This major event is held in my old Methodist church where I spent many a Wednesday nights practicing for choir and many Sunday nights joining with friends for MYF.  I loved and still love the events in that old church. Actually, thinking back, there were a lot of things I loved about that little town.  At the time I really couldn't wait to get out of there.  A great philosopher once said "Everybody knows this is nowhere."  It may be.  It may only be a wide spot in the road.  Every one of those businesses that I mentioned may be gone now, but damn it, that's still my home town.  No one can take that away from me.

Purpose Driven Life

     Have you ever pondered the questions of What is the meaning of life or What is my purpose in life?  If you have I'm here to say that you are not the only one who has.  I believe each one of us has a purpose in life.  We were all put here on earth for a reason.  The hardest part is figuring out what your purpose truly is.

     There was a time that I truly thought my sole purpose in life was to make others look good.  The whole time I was growing up I fumbled and bumbled through everything.  I was very accident prone which is evident from the scars all over my body from stitches, broken bones and skin grafts.  As much as I fumbled and screwed up I always tended to make others look like they were so much better at what ever it was we were doing.  As much as that occurred, I just figured that's what I was put on this earth to do.  Make others lookk good.

     To everything, there is a reason.  And a time for every purpose under heaven.  To find what each of our purposes are we need to turn to heaven to see what the man up stairs has to say about that.  God has put forth hundreds of laws, ten commandments and yet only one thing that he requires of us.  That is to do justly, love mercy and to walk humbly with our God.  God put us all on this earth for His glory.  We are to spread His word to every tribe, every tongue and every nation.  We are to love one another through the good works that we do for one another and we are to love the Lord our  God with all our mind, all our soul and all of our strength.  If we would do these things then I believe we would have found the purpose for us to have been put on this Earth.... For go's enjoyment.

     We also need to find a job a vocation in life.  They say if you find the one thing that you enjoy the most in life and get paid for doing it then you never have to actually work a day in your life.  In order to do all the things that God wants us to do for Him and even the things that we want to do that give us pleasure, we still need to have money.  The key is to find the job that you can get into that you can get the most enjoyment out of an fulfillment from.  The business of making money is your job.  But that is not your purpose.  That is merely a means of financing your purpose.  Our purpose in life is our life's work.  Our life's work is loving each other, evagelizing for God, descipling others for God and in the process, worshiping God.  There is a difference in doing your job and doing your work.  Your job brings you money and your work brings you true joy and true fulfillment of your purpose.  We need to do the work that God put us on this earth for because that is our true purpose in life.  We were wonderfully and fearfully made, so we should return the blessing of the life that God gave to us back to Him in praise by doing what it is that He purposed for us to do.  I thank God every day for all the blessings He gives me and I return every one of those blessings back to Him in praise.

    

Toughy Huffy

     Well folks, this one will be a tough one.  I guess it's time a make a tribute to the man I lost three years ago today. my dad.  I spoke at his funeral, but the tears got in the way and choked me up through the whole speech.  So I'll try it again, knowing the tears will come but at least you can read through my tears better than the people at the chuch could listen through them at the service.  So here it goes.

     My dad was  a man who wore many hats, literally and figuratively.  In fact he pretty much had a different hat for every occassion.  He wore the hat of a father of 3, a hat of a husband of 1 for more than 50 years and several hats of the various occupations he held over the 78 years of his life.
    
     He was known for his hats.  He was never seen without one.  He wore the hat of a baseball coach as he worked with Jeff and me in the front yard.  He wore the hat of a farmer, any one of about 50 seed corn hats when he worked around his own farm or for the various other farmers in the San Jose area.  He even had a special starched engineer's hat he wore to work at Caterpillar for 34 years.  In fact we went to tour his building KK at East Peoria one Sunday for the open house that they had that day.  When he came into the plant with an ordinary baseball cap on no one could recognize him without his infamous engineer's hat on.

     Yes over the years he wore many hats.  The one I enjoyed seeing him wear the most was that of a father.  When I lost a father I also lost a friend.  Some one I could always lean on.  Some one I could always talk to.  Now I don't have him or his hats.  There are so many things in my life and my kids' life that he did not get to see.  My best consolation is knowing he now wears a crown of of salvation as he sits next to Jesus on his throne.  It's nice to know that some day I'll be able to see him again.  Maybe we'll go get a new hat so we can sit on a shore and fish together so I can catch him up on all those things he missed here on earth.  Although I'm sure it can't compare to things he could tell me about that I missed while he's been in heavan.

Blizzard

     As most of you know, I grew up on a small farm in central IL.  In 1979 we had one of the worst blizzards on record.  My brother and I raised pigs.  That year we had terrible snows, high winds, and HUGE drifts.  I remember a drift that started at the sow pen and built dramaticlly from there.  It reached the height of our two-story farm house. 
    
     I remeber having to dig the sows that climbed the snow drift that had gone over the fence.  They would get just so far up the side of the drift until it would collapse, trapping the 400 pound sows in the drift.  We would dig around them to release them from their frozen shackles, get them back into their pens and dig a trench along the fence so they couldn't get out again.  Some how Mother Nature had a way of repairing that gap and those sows would get out once again.  This was a real pain in the neck.  A pain in the back as well.

     One of those cold snowy winters of the late 1970's was so bad that the snowplows could not push the snow back off the roads well enough to make two lanes any more.  The road just adjacent to ours (the one that now leads to my sister's house) was on a hill and only had one lane.  My mom had to drive up that hill and was hit head on by an on coming pick up.  Just last year she fianlly got the kne fixed that had been banged up more than 30 years ealier.  Talk about long term affects of a snow storm.

     This week we experienced one of those memorable blizzards that will unfortunately stay in our memories for the next 30 years.  For some of us this is the first big blizzard of our life time.  For those of us who lived through those in the late '70's we now have one to compare them to.  I really don't want to remember this one, but at my ripe old age of 46, I do like to think back to those tough winters from years gone by.  Maybe 30 years from now my kids will reminess about this one like I have about those from the '70's.

     I remember having a lot of extra chores to do around the farm just trying to keep the animals alive.  Jake and Sam will probably remember digging tunnels in the snow.  I remember digging out huge snow drifts behind the car so we could escape for a while.  Jake and Sam will have the memory of their mom running the snowblower for the first and only time to make a path from the house to the part of the lane that actually got plowed out.  I remember falling through the ice on the mighty Prairie Creek when my dad told me not to go out on the ice on one of our many days off from school.  Jake and Sam will probably remember their dog, Titus, falling into the creek that streams off of the Mighty Mississippi.  I remember digging a path along the fence line so the sows couldn't get out of the fence.  Sam will remember shoveling 2 feet of snow out of our shoreline man shed.  Connie will probably always remember the fun of being able to stay at home with our boys and playing with them in the snow during the great blizzard of 2011.

     Well this one is pretty much over.  We can pretty much get out of our property.  They do get to stay home from school one more day.  I pretty much have to go back to work.  God has a way of building memories into this thing we call life.  Life is not the breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.  The blizzard of 2011 took my breath away.  We have an awesome God.  That's all I have to say about that...pretty much.

The 12th Man

     More than 60 years ago a mighty friendship was forged between two brothers.  These two brothers were Dick and Bruce Abbott.  They did many things together over the years as most friends do.  Even as they got older that friendship grew. 

     Dick purchased a piece of property on the Mississippi River that had been in the family for many years.  There had been numerous changes made to that property over those many years, but the friendship between these two brothers never seemed to change.  One aspect of that river front property that never really changed was a small shed built right along the shoreline of that Mighty Mississippi River.  Because of the close proximity to the river this shed had to be built tough, forged in steel, to withstand the floods and the tests of time, just like the friendship between Dick and Bruce.

     Over the years as these two men got older the activity they enjoyed the most together was sitting in that reinforced shed on a winter Sunday afternoon drinking beer and watching football.  Bruce was as much of a Green Bay Packer fan as Dick was a Chicago Bear fan.  As Bruce drank his beer of choice, Old Style Light, Dick would consume his beer of choice, Old Style, in front of the wood burning stove.  They needed some sort of cold beverage  because that wood burner  filled that little shed with enough heat to melt the Arctic Ice Cap.

     Time passed and unfortunately eventually one of those friends did, too.  Dick died suddenly in November of 2007.  This passing was the only thing that could have ever ended the friendship of these two men.  Because of Dick's dedication as the world's greatest Bear's fan, Bruce had to come up with some way to honor his friend.  Bruce had been a long time employee of the city of Clinton and A.) had connections and B.) knew where the best junk was on Big Grabage Pick-up Day.  Through his brain-storming and craftiness, he came up with a fitting way to honor his best friend and the 12th Man for the Chicago Bears.  He located a discarded wooden statue or lawn ornimant of a two foot tall bear.  He put on this bear a remnant of one of Dick's old Bear's sweatshirts with a sign on the edge that said "12th Man".  Also because of Dick's life-long occupation as being the best baker around, Bruce gave the wooden statue a miniature doll of the Pillsbury Doughboy to hold.  Another loss that occured shortly after Dick's passing was his dedicated companion Boomer, the Yellow Lab that never left his side.  I think Boomer died of a broken heart or from lost hope after wandering around for weeks looking to see where Dick went off to.  So to add to the memorial statue of the 12th Man, Bruce added a colloar with Boomer's dog tag on it wrapped around the bear's neck.

     Time marched on again as is it always does.  Many things changed while one thing stayed the same.  That shed to this day still stands.  After enduring several floods and a change of possesion of property, that old wooden shed along the shores of the Mississippi River still hosts Uncle Bruce drinking his now beer of choice, Busch Light and his new companion, Uncle Dick.  They sit around that same wood burning stove where they watch football every Sunday afternoon.  The shed and the rest of the property belong to Dick's daughter and me now.  The role of the Yellow Lab is now played by our dog, Titus. The memorial bear statue still sits on the table absorbing the 100 degree heat of the burner and watching the game as the 12th Man.

     A fan is a mere supprter of a team.  The 12th Man in football is a fan in overdrive.  He's the one who is so engrossed into every move the team makes that he would jump off of sidelines and play for them if he could.  That was the dedication of Dick Abbott.  He was the ultimate Bear's fan.  He would have loved being called in off of the sidelines today in the 182nd meeting of his brother's favorite team to see if he could have taken them to the Super Bowl.  That 12th Man was not there today so Uncle Bruce got his wish this time as the Packers advanced to the big game.

     Who is your 12th Man?  Who would jump into save the game for you?  Do you realize we have a God in heaven loves you so much, who come to save the day in your darkest hour?  Call upon your 12th Man.  he just might save your life and send you to the big game.